Stay Awake Get A Grip And Get Out Rebel Love Song
by PandaKatie
Summary: Lupe dreams about Alex Gaskarth from All Time Low. Little does she know he shares that dream. And he wants to find her. Then Andy Biersack appears...Trouble In Paradise. All Time Low and Black Veil Brides fanfiction. *summarysucksread*
1. Chapter 1

**Well, while I was away, I had this dream. it was awesome, I thought it would be a good starter to a fanfic. Tell me if I should leave it as a One Shot or continue it. :3**

**Lupe's POV.**

I was 99.9% sure I was dreaming.

Well, because I was in front of All Time Low's house were they spent their days when they toured in England,

My friend Rose pulled me inside smiling. Loads of girls were everywhere. Some guys were trying- but mostly failing- to look cool.

One of the first things I noticed was Alex Gaskarth sitting on a chair wearing a beanie (He looked so cute) and loads of girls around him.

I sighed, there was no way I could get anywhere near him to say hi and tell him what huge inspiration his band was on my writing. The other thing was Zack Merrick sitting on a sofa with guys all around him laughing and joking. No sign of any other ATL members. But then again I hadn't been in the rest of the house yet.

"Hi" Alex said, I turned around to see that all the girls were standing behind the chair he used to be sat on when I first saw him, but now he was standing up looking at me and Rose.

"Hey!" Rose said, she wasn't shy or anything. I wish I was like her.

"Who's your friend?" Alex asked, smiling even brighter at me.

"I'm Rose, this is Lupe" Rose said, pointing to me, I waved.

"I love the name Rose" He said, Rose blushed a little "Lupe? That's a strange name. Cool though"

"My real names Lucinda, I don't like Lucy, and so I went with Lupe" I said, a little shyly.

"I hate long names too. Mine's Alexander. Damn those English roots" He chuckled,

"Mhm" I said, looking away feeling incredibly awkward.

"Lupe… tell him" Rose said nudging me and taking a seat near us before I could turn away.

"Tell me what? Hey, I'm your favourite member right? Yeah, I get it. You love me" Alex sighed, he'd obviously heard this all before…

"No" I said, shaking my head "Rian is. I wanted to say; your band is a huge inspiration to my writing. Thanks for writing some cool stuff" I said.

"Woah, Dawsome will be pleased he has a fan girl. Oh, and your welcome" Alex winked, pulling his phone out, "I'll text him to get him down"

I smiled back; I was now 100% sure this was a dream. I didn't have the feeling I had when I was awake. So yeah, you text Rian, bring him down. I'll say hey. Maybe the Easter Bunny will hop in for an ATL remix at the end of this dream.

"I would love to meet the whole of ATL" I smiled to Rose; she then shrugged and walked off to do whatever she did when I didn't see her.

"Well, why don't we go for a walk then you can meet the rest?" Alex asked, smiling and holding out his hand, I took it. Wow. This may be a dream, but it felt so real, he had a really tight grip.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as Alex pulled me through the house to a garden. The garden had some funky Japanese look going on. Bamboo, tall willow trees, paths of white stones and small but perfectly cut grass.

"Somewhere" He winked as we somehow got from the garden to a field that reminded me of the nature walk near where I lived.

"I hope it doesn't get too cold" I commented, holding up my hands; which even in a dream were still going orange and blotchy.

"Woah, are you okay?" Alex said, stopping and holding my hands as if they would fall of.

"Yeah. I'm good. Just my Raynauds acting up"

"Whats Ray-whatitsface?"

"Raynauds Phenomenon. It's were you have bad circulation so your hands and other body parts get cold easily. I take pills. It's all good" I smiled, despite the annoyance of my 'condition'.

"Oh." Alex started to rub my hands to get them warm; he lifted them to his lips to kiss them.

"Um" I blushed, looking down at my feet. "Can I have your number?"

"Really?" Alex said, smirking

"I know… stupid question. You don't know me…"

"So, then tell me Miss. Lupe"

"Well, my name's Lucinda Perry, but I put together the first two letters of both my names to get Lupe. My life is alright, I like to write and perform. Um, my dad's an epic douche bag?" I laughed,

"Why is he so bad?" Alex said, clearly interested. Why would he be? My life's not that interesting…

"It's a long story…" I smiled, looking away when suddenly Alex's phone beeped.

"Well… wanna meet your favourite member of ATL? Oh, and the rest of 'em. I hear the singer's not too bad. Abit bigheaded though" Alex smiled.

"Sure," I smiled back (He has one of those contagious smiles…) "But, he's not so bad. Kind of cute" In dream-land I had a lot of guts…

Alex simply took my hand again (It felt so right…) and pulled me through the field to get into the garden again.

"You ready?" Alex asked,

"Um…" I said unsure, when he picked me up and slung me across his back and took me into the house.

On one of the empty sofas was the rest of ATL; Rian Dawson, Jack Barakat and Zack Merrick. The party was over. The only other people were Rose, Alex and me.

"Alex! Put me down! I swear I'm going to kick you in the face!" I screamed as he tried to lay me down on the guy's laps.

"Please!" I said, jumping up onto the back of the sofa just behind the band's heads.

"I give up!" Alex muttered, walking outside after a while obviously annoyed.

I stood there for awhile just thinking before I followed him out, he was leaning against the glass fence over-looking the rest of the garden.

"Alex…" I whispered, he didn't turn around.

"Why are you so shy? I think you're so…. But your so unsure of yourself" He whispered, I think it was mainly to himself. He turned to face me, his brown eyes pleading. "Lupe"

I didn't know who started it, but we leaned closer and I twirled his hair around my fingers as we kissed. Wow. That boy can kiss! I mean, everything else in the dream hadn't felt real. Expect the hands and this kiss.

We pulled apart, and Alex quickly disappeared. I sat down on the floor, playing with my lip were a few seconds ago Alex was kissing.

Still a little dazed I walked inside, Rose looked at me funny, and the band just waved to get my attention.

"Hi" Jack said, leaping up and hugging me,

"Hey" I said, putting on a smile and hugging him back

"Don't be so shy, kay?" Rian said, flashing his perfect teeth and he then hugged me, I hugged him back nodding.

"And, get better taste in band members?" Zack joked, hugging me just like everyone else had. I laughed and hugged him.

Then Alex walked back in.

I stood still,

"I see you finally got over it all and made some new friends" Alex stated simply, not looking at anyone else but me.

"Um, yeah. Look Alex" I said, catching his arm "About what happened…"

"Yeah. It was nothing, happens all the time" He shrugged. I don't think those eight little words can ever put me in so much pain-until now "But don't worry if you hear a song about this."

I nodded, my vision blurring with tears.

"What happened?" Everyone else demanded.

"I kissed her" Alex said,

I woke up.

The sun was shining through my curtains, I sat up. So the dream wasn't real.

I wish somehow Alex had the same dream…

**Alex POV.**

I woke up. Woah, it really was a dream?

I could've sworn it was real… the girl… Lupe Perry.

What she told me seemed so real – what I felt seemed so real.

"'Sup?" Rian said, looking at me from his bunk. I guessed I looked freaked out.

"I had a dream…" I said, climbing out of my bunk,

"What happened?"

"I met a girl"…


	2. Chapter 2

**This is short and crap... deal sorry guys. ^.^**

**Alex's POV;**

"So, because the dream felt 'so real' you want to find this girl?" Rian asked in disbelief.

"It was real. I know it" I muttered turning away from Rian and opening my laptop up.

"Sure Alex" Rian sighed, standing behind me as I typed away.

'Google-search-Lupe Perry'

Nothing. What? I swear that was her name… wait what was that weird thing she had?

'Google-search-Raynauds Phenomenon'

SCORE! I clicked on the first thing that came up.

'Raynauds Phenomenon is where poor blood circulation makes toes, and fingers pale and blotchy. It's called 'Phenomenon' because it's still unknown to how it starts…'

"So what she told me was true" I murmured,

"Yeah, but you might've heard it before and thought about it in your dream" Rian pointed out.

"True dat" I sighed, running my hand through my hair,

I typed in the search box 'Lucinda Perry'.

And then I saw as loads of newspaper articles pop up.

'Lucinda Perry is amazing as 'Fall for Deceit' Truly a brand-new punk band on the scene' one said,

'Lucinda Perry shows true talent as a teen writer, also a up and coming punk soloist called Fall For Deceit, taken from lyrics in a All Time Low song'

"She's real" I breathed, smiling.

"And a fan" Rian laughed, "Have you met her?"

"Nope. I'd remember her face. Trust me" I said, pointing to a photo of a dark haired girl who had large green eyes that were rimmed with black eyeliner. She was just the same girl I remember, maybe a little more pale.

**Lupe POV.**

"Woah, Lupe? You look like…. Shit" Natasha said, eyeing me as I padded outside my room to grab some food.

"Thanks, I love you too" I winked, grabbing a milk carton, drinking from it without bothering for a cup.

"You got a gig Friday?" Natasha asked, she was in my backing band.

"Yup. I heard some people from a record company were coming. I'm really excited" I smiled, unluckily I was seeing All Time Low Saturday so I had too get up early with loads of coffee…

"Wow! Imagine going on tour…" Tash said, eye's far away dreaming.

"You'll always be my backing bitch" I smirked walking upstairs to get changed. The dream was still haunting me but I knew it was nothing more than some freaky fan-girl dream. I sighed and grabbed some skinny jeans and a Glamour Kills shirt.

"Where are you going?" Tash asked as I skipped downstairs past her.

"Studio won't be back late!" I called as I went out the door.

**Alex POV**

"She's performing the day before our London gig" I said, "Wanna go?"

"Sure, I like her name" Jack said,

"Dude, it's an ATL lyric…" Zack sighed,

"I know man, that's why I like it…"

"Shut up, don't get obsessed with her like Alex"

"I'm not obsessed, I just…"

"Want to find her and go all 'I had a dream about you' on her ass?"

"Yarp"

"I love you too Rian"

I got up and quickly got dressed. Three days until I could see Lupe in person. I read that she also wrote things. I wasn't smart enough to figure out how to read them so I got Vinny to help me. I sat down and started to read…


	3. Chapter 3

**I like this one. ;3 kay, the lryics are my friends Zara's (she wrote the ones in Lost In Stereo) don't steal guys. ;)**

**Thanks for all the reviews! it makes me so happy people like and favourite my things liek ;FallenTorment. Thanks. I love you.**

**Lupe's POV;**

I was so excited for Friday. I had some friends and the usual fans coming to support me, but then there was the record producers coming…

I was on the bill with two other bands; I liked the first one, they were a hippy/indie punk and really funny, but the other was a real old school punk band and they were really egoistical, plus they didn't like me because I was a soloist. Which is retarded- and yes, I have told them this. I also wasn't so pleased about the fact that they could distract the record labels… I may sound like a bitch, but it's true. I want my chance just as much. I would cry if I lost this deal…

I also had to quickly send the new manuscript to my editors too… sometimes doing two jobs can be annoying. I am a writer and a performer. Sometimes I can't remember my boundaries…

"Lupe! Gig time!" Natasha called, I sighed and grabbed my guitar case and slung it over my back and picked up my bag full of clothes and random shizz that actually helped you during and prepping a gig. Who knew?

"Coming!" I said, carefully walking down the stairs. I'm a klutz. Carrying all the stuff, I'm more likely to break a bone than rock out on stage.

"Let me take that!" Matt my backing bassist said, grabbing my bag before I could fall over. Everyone made fun of my balancing skills. Or lack off.

"You suck" I laughed, sticking my tongue out at him as I climbed in the back.

"GIG!" We all screamed out the window on the van at random strangers.

It was a simple feeling of freedom, and mapping out our hopefully successful future.

**Alex POV;**

"Chill Alex, we'll get there on time" Zack muttered, pulling away in our rented car. I was tapping my feet a lot. I did in times of impatience.

"You should've let me drive! I'll get us there in time for Alex's girlfriend's gig!" Jack protested from the back.

"No!" We all shouted in union, "She's not my girlfriend" I added, glaring at Jacks face.

"You want her to be though" He muttered under his breath.

"Leave him alone Jack. He'll just get pissy like a little girl" Rian laughed and Jack pleading look "And, we want to get there alive"

I sighed and lent back into the chair, I was going to write a song about this some day. No doubt about that.

I stepped out the car; I saw loads of teenagers waiting outside, as soon as they saw us, mouths dropped.

I waved and signed some shit but most just wanted to talk which was awesome. We had about ten minutes to wait before we were allowed inside which didn't bother me, I liked talking to fans, and I enjoyed hearing their stories. It gave me good writing material. You know Remembering Sunday? Wrote for some kid whose girlfriend killed herself so he would move on because she had cancer. Life sucks sometimes.

"Alex, their letting people in" Zack said, nodding towards the line which was moving into the small venue. It was one of those small bar-type gig venues. More one-on-one with the crowd. I liked small venues for intimate gigs.

"Hello, ticket please" the guy on the door asked when we reached him. I handed him mine and the rest of the bands. Matt and Vinny had tagged along and somehow got in front of us.

We entered the venue and saw some Indie looking band setting up, I went and sat by the bar trying not to distract everyone from the band when they started. I hated that…

They ended up being called 'Fully Alive'. I thought they were pretty good-funny too. I heard Jack laugh a couple of times.

The next band were something different, they were old-school punk and had the ego to match. They stormed on stage without even saying hello and played about four or five songs with only a few seconds between them. They didn't say anything, at all.

Then the light dimmed, I heard the chant for 'Fall For Deceit' going around the crowd who was breaking into a mini mosh-pit with the mere tension coming from the dimming stage.

"Hello guys!" A warm husky voice smiled onstage, Lupe.

She looked the same in person as she had in her picture and the dream, same black hair with strips of brown throughout. Soft green eyes and pale skin and eyelashes that I could see flutter from back here.

Then she started to sing,

"_The lights turn on its 3am_  
><em>Thanks for calling my phone again<em>  
><em>Were only friends<em>  
><em>Oh can't you see<em>  
><em>You've always meant more than that to me<em>  
><em>With every minute I'm awake<em>  
><em>I don't know how much more of this I can take<em>

_Just another time my heart will break_  
><em>Just another memory I can't erase<em>  
><em>Just another dream that isn't true<em>  
><em>Just another day I think of you (ohoohoho)<em>  
><em>(I think of you)<em>

_At school I watch you with her_  
><em>It makes my heart burn<em>  
><em>To know that you'll never know<em>  
><em>Everything I keep locked inside<em>  
><em>I wish it didn't hurt<em>  
><em>Yet I still think of only you<em>

_If only I could pull myself way_  
><em>Why can't I say goodbye?<em>  
><em>This is the last tear I waste on love<em>  
><em>Knowing I was never good enough<em>  
><em>Even if I hope all night<em>  
><em>You'll never be by my side<em>

_Just another time my heart will break_  
><em>Just another memory I can't erase<em>  
><em>Just another dream that isn't true<em>  
><em>Just another day I think of you (ohoohoho)<em>  
><em>(I think of you)<em>

_But hope remains_  
><em>If only there was a way<em>  
><em>Love's call could be heard<em>  
><em>But faith is all I need<em>  
><em>It doesn't have to be wasted time<em>  
><em>You could be mine<em>

_Just another time my heart will break_  
><em>Just another memory I can't erase<em>  
><em>Just another dream that isn't true<em>  
><em>Just another day I think of you (ohoohoho)<em>  
><em>(I think of you)<em>  
><em>I'll always think of you<em>" she had an amazing voice.

"That was about a boy I liked for too long. And, I'm glad I'm over him" She smiled into the mic. I melted.

What stupid boy wouldn't have her? I would.

"Is there a man who can duet with me in this song? It's an All Time Low song." She blushed, "My idols. So anyone? It's Stay Awake"

I held my hand up, her eyes turned on me and they widened.

"Alex Gaskarth" She breathed softly.


	4. Chapter 4

**I just wanted to write this from Lupe's POV. How is everyone liking Dirty Work? I think I'm gonna have to get anyother one. Theres no State Of The Art and some other bonus track. :/ Suckish man.. It's awesome though, I miss their punkyer stuff like So Wrong It's Right tbh... Meh. I still like their newer stuff.**

**Lupe POV;**

We got into the venue and they'd already started to sound check the other bands, so we got all our stuff out the van and sat on the floor with it crowding around us.

"Yo! Fall For Deceit! Get your asses up here!" The sound guy Mike said. We're pretty good friends from when I'd played here before.

As the band set up behind me I pulled up a stool and positioned myself with my guitar by the microphone.

"La, la la laaa" I sang, plucking at the strings to get into tune.

"Like fire and flames,

You took me down;

And, now

There's nothing left.

Woah! You and me,

Were never meant to be,

But I can't help it,

Woah! Nothings left!

To hold onto!

So, let's hold onto each other,

Tonight" I sang, the band had started to play along behind me. I sung random crap that came into my head during sound checks. They were usually rubbish and fool-proof.

"Okay, you're good to go!" Mike called from behind the sound board, giving me the thumbs up.

I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ears and grabbed my guitar and hopped down from the stool.

"Lupe! You're not ready! C'mon!" Natasha pulled me backstage and pulled all my clothes out of my bag, throwing them at me.

I quickly dressed; red tartan skirt, white shorts to go underneath (skirts are easy access…) tights, and black top and a long button up dress up skirt that I wore buttoned up in one button half way up. I pulled my hair out of its loose ponytail and brushed it through and re-lined my eyes with eyeliner from were it'd smudged and faded throughout the day.

"I'm done!" I called, spraying hairspray over my hair to keep it in place.

"Good!" Said Lizzie, she was our drummer. And she'd finished like me, "Their just letting everyone in, you'd never guess who I saw…" I walked away before she'd finished, getting myself a drink.

Ah, I found my water in my bag. That thing is amazing, whenever I need something. Bam! I find it in there.

I stood by the side of the small stage watching the other bands; I was just sipping my drink like some cool band-stalker.

"Woo! Fully Alive!" I called from backstage, earning a wink from their relatively cute lead singers. I blushed. Man, I'm so shy…

Then the other band came on, I hugged Fully Alive because their awesome guys and a great band.

I walked away as the other band started to play, I didn't know why they were even on the bill; they were called Shoot To Thrill.

I grabbed my guitar then waited for them to leave, they glared at me and they stomped off.

"Bitches" I muttered under my breath and walked onstage to help with the drums.

"Hello guys!" I smiled, sitting down on the stool, looking into each and every member on the crowds eyes.

Then we started to play, I noticed that a lot of people were distracted by some group by the bar. I shrugged and finished off the song.

"That was about a boy I liked for too long. And, I'm glad I'm over him" I smiled, "Is there a man who can duet with me in this song? It's by All Time Low, my idols. So anyone? It's Stay Awake"

At first no one held up there hand, I looked at everyone until a hand rose from the group by the bar. I started at the person. Oh, God!

"Alex Gaskarth" I whispered, blushing so much that it would be obvious even from the lights and the distance.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry if I confused you, but in the last chapter it was the first gig as in Chapter 3, just Lupe's POV. :3**

**LALALALA MERRY CHRISTMAS KISS MY ASS. Ah, I love the ending. 3**

**Lupe POV;**

I watched as the crowd moved apart for The Alex Gaskarth to make his way up here to sing with me. Wait, am I on drugs? High? Drunk?

Nope. Didn't seem like it. Damn, how am I meant to sing with... Him? I mean… he's like… I sighed and someone brought out another stool for Alex to sit on, he had to share my mic as the venue didn't have another.

"Hi guys" Alex said coolly, as he went to small gigs everyday and hijacked the stage.

I started to play the first few keys of Stay Awake.

(Alex=**BOLD, **Lupe=_ITALIC, _Both, **YOU KNOW!)**

"_Caught in a cold sweat_  
><em>Stuck splitting hairs<em>  
><strong>I'm drinking too much I'm on my way to striking out<strong>  
><strong>Go to sleep with the pressure of everyone<strong>  
><strong>Watching and waiting they're yours for the taking<strong>  
><em><strong><span>But I still have my doubts<span>**_

_**Before you ask which way to go**_  
><em><strong><span>Remember where you've been<span>**_

**_Stay awake_**  
><strong><em><span>Get a grip and get out your safe<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>From the weight of the world just take<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>A second to set things straight<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>I'll be fine<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>Even though I'm not always right<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>I can count on the sun to shine<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>Dedication takes a lifetime<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>But dreams only last for a night<span>_**

_Figure it out_  
><em>Boy you're tripping so pull yourself together<em>  
><em>Or you'll wash up like the rest<em>  
><em>This ship is sinking<em>  
><strong>I'm thinking, I'm done for<strong>  
><strong>I watch as the sails disappear under water<strong>  
><em>Cause I'm no captain yet<em>

_I said before you ask which way to go_  
><em>Remember where you've been<em>

**_Stay awake_**  
><strong><em><span>Get a grip and get out your safe<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>From the weight of the world just take<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>A second to set things straight<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>I'll be fine<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>Even though I'm not always right<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>I can count on the sun to shine<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>Dedication takes a lifetime<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>But dreams only last for a night<span>_**

_Believe you me_  
><strong>I'll tell them everything<strong>  
><em>I'd tell them anything<em>  
><strong>To show them everything<strong>  
><em>Believe you me<em>  
><strong>I'll give them everything<strong>  
><em>I'd tell them anything<em>  
><strong>To show them everything<strong>

**_You ain't the only one's who wanna live it up!_**  
><strong><em><span>You ain't the only one's!<span>_**

**_Stay awake_**  
><strong><em><span>Get a grip and get out your safe<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>From the weight of the world just take<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>A second to set things straight<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>I'll be fine<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>Even though I'm not always right<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>I can count on the sun to shine<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>Dedication takes a lifetime<span>_**  
><strong><em><span>But dreams only last for a<span>_** _night_"

I smiled; it was a lot better than I'd thought it'd be.

"Thanks guys!" I said, getting off my stool "That was our last song!" Our set was only two songs because they had to close at ten.

The crowd cheered as I went offstage, I grabbed my bag and found some food that I shoved in my mouth.

"Hi, I'm Alex" Alex said, holding his hand out,

"I'm Lupe" I said, swallowing my food quickly and shaking his hand.

"HEY LUPE! GASKARTH! WE DON'T DO HAND SHAKES" Jack said, running up to us and hugging me. "Hi"

"Hi" I said, rather shaking.

"Don't be shy bootiful" Jack said, making me blush even more.

"I'm Zack, that's Rian" Zack said, hugging me, and then I hugged Rian. It felt so similar to the dream. It's weird how I had a dream about them and a few days later, here they are.

"I'm Lupe" I smiled,

"Oh, we know" Rian said, elbowing Alex whose eyes widened and he quickly mouthed something I didn't catch.

"Um, awesome" I breathed, feeling my face hotten up even more.

"Awh, don't be shy" Alex whispered into my ear. "Are you going to the after-party tomorrow?" Louder.

"No" I smiled, "But I'm going to the gig"

"Consider yourself officaly invited" He smiled, taking my hand "Cold"

"Yeah, I have-" Alex cut me off,

"I know" He smiled then walked away leaving me even more confused. No sites posted about my condition so how would he know? The dream… Wait, no. That's not possible I told myself sternly.

"What's up?" Lizzie asked me, coming up behind me,

"I just got invited to an after-party" I said, dazed.


	6. Chapter 6

**I thought this was cute. Nawh. ~:3 I love Lupe's and Alex's budding romance. :D:D:D **

**Read my other fo shizzle okay guys? I really do love you so much.**

**Sorry for the earlier mistake, yes. Lupe is Seventeen.**

**Lupe's POV;**

"Lupe!" Lizzie called, as we got out of the gig. It was really awesome; Lizzie lived like four minutes away so we walked to her's.

"Hm?" I shouted back, we were right next to each other, but the gig had blown our ears.

"After party?" Lizzie smiled, as we walked into her apartment.

"Oh yeah! Do you want to go with me?" I smiled back,

"Sure! Go get dressed!" She laughed and pushed me into her walk-in wardrobe.

I found loads of dresses, but not one really jumped out and said 'wear me!'

"LUPE! Jack's calling your phone!" Lizzie called, walking in wearing a really pretty red dress.

"How did he get my number?" I asked no one in particular,

"Yo Jack" I answered,

"Lupeykins, are you coming? Alex is missing you" Jack said on the other end of the phone.

"Um, yeah. I'm just getting dressed."

"Ah, kinky. See you there bootiful" Jack said and then he hung up.

I ended up wearing a Killer Panda dress. I also had fishnet stockings and boots on. Lizzie said something about Alex which I ignored. I wasn't really over my deafness.

The after party was already under way when we arrived, I saw Alex drinking by the bar. Maybe what everyone said about him was right.

"Hey!" Jack called running up and group hugging us, "You both look sexy, want a drink?" Lizzie smiled and nodded.

"I'm too young" I sighed, shaking my head.

"What?" Jack laughed, "You look about… Twenty"

"I'm actually Seventeen" I laughed; everyone said I looked a lot older than I actually was.

"Alex will be disappointed" Jack sighed and shook his head, "What about you?"

"I'm Twenty" Lizzie laughed, we'd met through my older brother.

Jack and Lizzie disappeared onto the dance floor, leaving me standing there. It was really weird so I went and sat down by the bar. Everyone was dancing; I saw loads of guys from different gig's I'd played over the last two years. They waved and I spoke to them for awhile but soon they left.

"Hi Lupe" Alex smiled, I thought he'd be drunk by now.

"Hey Alex, aren't you drunk?" I laughed,

"Na, I've drunk way too much over the years" He smiled, "Why aren't you dancing?"

"No one asked" I said, gesturing to everyone else.

"I did" He winked and stood up, holding out his hand,

I smiled and took his hand; he pulled me up from the stool.

A really slow song came on and the other couples started to hold each other closer and some where kissing in the far corners.

"Come on then" Alex smiled, holding out his arms to take me,

I blushed and rested my head on his shoulder.

We spun around; I saw loads of girls glaring at me, and some guys. It was funny, so much so that I was laughing,

"Hm?" Alex murmured into my hair,

"It's funny how everyone reacts" I mused,

"You'll get used to it, when you're a big and famous star" He teased, with a smile on his face.

"You really think I'll get that far?"

"Yeah. You're a really good person, and singer. I mean, Jack told me your age and it's so… amazing how much talent you have"

"I sometimes wish I was older, not many people take me seriously."

"I do" Alex said, looking me into my eyes.

"I remember when I was younger, I wanted to be older, do so many things, have a boyfriend, be … older. But now, I wish I hadn't wasted it now. So many things are simpler…" I whispered.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No" I laughed, "I'm not that type"

The song ended, Alex was looking at me, and inner thoughts clouded his brown eyes that I used to look at from posters. One thing I can tell you, none of them are photo shopped, or airbrushed. He is just… naturally handsome.

"I'll see you later" Alex whispered into my ear, his hot breath rising small hairs on the back of my neck.

"Ok" I blushed, Alex raised my hand to his lips, the kiss lasted a lot longer than what would've been deemed as 'right' by someone like my grandmother.

"I've… got…. I've got to go" I whispered, walking outside. The cold air hit my face as I gasped at the shock.

Woah. What was happening to me? I am a Seventeen year old girl, who is falling in love with a Twenty One year old famous rock star. I wish life was as simple as the younger self is taught.


	7. Chapter 7

**Nawh. cuteness. I love writing this. xD**

**Lupe POV;**

I heard Lizzie come outside with Jack.

"Here's my number" He smiled, then I heard giggles and kissing, I sighed and walked away. I had Lizzie's key somewhere in my bag.

Somewhere in my trip to the usual short journey I think I ended up lost. I was walking around an unfamiliar road that had tall and imposing buildings that freaked me out to be honest.

Why couldn't I've waited for Jack and Lizzie to finish and take me home?

Half-way down the road I heard boys, most likely drunk ones calling out.

"Hey beautiful!" One called, he had dark hair and looked like he was going to collapse at any monument.

"Come here, keep us warm" Another laughed from the shadows. The group laughed but not in a nice way.

I kept on walking, when a hand reached out and gripped my arm.

I gasped and spun round, only to look into warm and friendly brown eyes.

"Oh, god! Alex" I whispered, he pulled me close.

"We were looking for you! Jack saw you walk off and Lizzie said it was in the wrong direction. Come on, let's get you home"

I sighed and nearly fell into Alex's warm arms.

"I'm so sleepy" I yawned,

"I'll carry you" He murmured, picking me up bridal style, I fell asleep shortly after so I had no idea what happened next.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

The next thing I was aware of was waking up in someone else's bed, it wasn't mine, or Lizzie's where I was meant to spend the night…

I saw that it was a bunk thing, so I opened the curtain and hopped down; I saw in the full length mirror that someone had dressed me in a guy's large top that wrapped around me like a mini-dress. They'd also removed most of my makeup.

I padded barefoot out into the front of the bus to see Alex asleep on the sofa; he had one small thin pillow. It was his bunk I'd woken up in.

"Hey Alex. C'mon" I said softly to the half asleep Alex. I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back into his bunk.

"Thanks bootiful" Alex sighed softly, grabbing me and pulling him close to me, then going to sleep.

I tried to break out of his grip but I couldn't without waking him.

"Lupe, I thought you were a dream" Alex whispered, awhile later, playing with my hair and obviously still not fully awake.

"No Alex" I smiled playfully "I'm real"

"But, I kissed you in a dream. Then I found you?"

I froze, just like my dream?

"You went to my gig Friday"

"Oh yeah. After my dream… I googled you… I like you Lupe"

"Alex" I whispered, pulling his arms away with all my strength.

"Woah, Lupe? What are you doing in my bed?" Alex asked, realising me quickly. He was awake.

"Um, you dragged me? I tried to put you in here after I woke up…" I explained.

"Oh, sorry" Alex smiled sheepishly.

"Nawh, its cool" I said, hopping down and walking into the front again. "Who actually undressed me?"

"Um, I did" Alex blushed, I gasped. "Don't worry. I left your underwear on. I didn't look and I put really dark sunglasses on so it was fuzzy"

"Oh kay..." I muttered, collapsing onto the sofa where Alex had been asleep, I wrapped the blanket around my bare legs.

"Sorry if I freaked you out" Alex sighed and sat down next to me, I shrugged.

I was doing a good job of refusing eye contact until Alex cupped my face and brought it to his eye level.

"What's wrong?" He asked seriously.

"I want to go home" I lied not wanting to explain how we shared a dream.

Alex could've meant anything random right? I mean, he was asleep!

"Oh" Alex said, something flashed in his eyes.

"I'll just go get changed…" I whispered,

"Yeah. Use anything you want" He whispered, no longer looking at me, but at his fingers that were twisting uselessly in the blanket.

"Okay…" I whispered, slipping away.

What just happened?

I was afraid to answer that, even to myself.


	8. Chapter 8

**I usally suck at tour parts. But I'M GOING TO TRY THIS TIME! As, it's a very big part of the whole thing.**

**I'm thinking of writing a ATL/BVB story, I think this will be it. MUAHAHA. **

**Enjoy guys and please review!**

**Oh, and tell peoplesz. ;3**

**Lupe's POV;**

Only half an hour till freedom, just like me the rest of the class were checking their watches every ten seconds.

I looked down at my watch again; only twenty nine minutes and fifty seconds till freedom.

I glanced out of the classroom window, zoning out of the teacher's lecture. It was taunting me with green grass, seemingly perfect weather and my car.

Well, my mother waiting in the car she gave me. Not the best prospect, but at least I was eighteen today.

Oh, hey! It's been almost a year since I met All Time Low. Not much has really changed with me, well… I moved back in with my mother until now (it's a long story) and she sort've banned me from going to gigs and doing them as well, so I've been forgotten by my old fans which is suckish and depressing but I hope when I finally get out this summer I'll be welcomed back.

I was thinking about moving in with Tash, but I didn't plan on being home much- I wanted to tour.

I bit my lip, smiling and thinking about everything I'd be getting up too.

"Class," My teacher said, calling my attention to her once again, "I'll miss you"

I shrugged and pushed all my stuff into my bag, she was a bitch anyway.

I was going to make random collage of all my books called 'random facts no one really gives a damn about'.

Throughout my entire internal awesome monologue the clock was ticking down.

I tired (with help from Zara) to get a 'summer' countdown like in High School Musical 2, but it failed when chavs started to chant random crap about what they're going to do to whatever poor blow-up doll they happened across.

The bell rang loudly, but normally. I had always thought've my leaving bell to sound sort've like a trumpet playing, Meh.

I felt the full force of a book in my back. I turned to see my friend Sophie grinning and chucking another one at my face.

"Bye whore!" She screamed, hugging me tight.

"Bye slut features!" I grinned, as I walked out the class room door.

As I walked out the school for the last time, I kept thinking 'Ah, this is where I blew up a gas chamber in year six… oh, there's where I slipped at poured ice cream down the school's biggest slut's top'

Ah, good memories.

As I walked out to the car I saw my mother looking at me with her face caught in her never-ending scowl.

"Hi" I sighed, painting a false huge smile on my face.

My mother just turned to face the on-coming road as I got into the car. I sighed and sunk back into the car.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

I was neigh on finished packing the last of my clothes when the door ran, I jumped up and was about to answer the door when I heard my mother talking to whoever was at it. I shrugged and went back into my room; I wasn't called just yet so I wasn't needed.

After about ten minutes my mother called me down, I sighed and trudged downstairs, I wasn't in the mood to be shown off to my mother's snobby friends.

"So, as you were saying?" My mother smiled. Woah, what? She smiled… the world has officially gone insane.

"Well, Lupe has an amazing talent, I was hoping she'd come on tour" A really familiar voice, that liked to slip in and out of English and American accent.

I turned eyes like saucers to see who was on our long sofa on the right wall.

Sitting in order, was Alex, Jack, Natasha, Zack and Rian sitting on the arm.

Natasha and Jack's knees where touching and every so often they'd caught each others glance and they both blushed and looked away, but then about five seconds later they were doing the same thing again. I smiled; I didn't know anything was going on between Jack and Tash. I thought they were just friends, hm…

"Oh, Lupe. I was just talking to Mr Gaskarth about you" She smiled again, waving her hand at Alex who winked at me when her gaze left us.

"Oh, yeah. Hi" I smiled and waved.

My mother tutted, Man, I hated her so much, I wasn't her 'perfect' child like my brother should've been. But luckily he got out before she could suck the life out of him.

"Want to go on tour with us?" Jack asked, I could see how badly he wanted to make a dick joke. His eyes were alight with his childishness. I almost laughed right there. They'd all grown up; Jack looked a lot older than before, Alex's hair… I didn't like it as much as when he had light brown hair, Zack looked beefier if that was even possible and Rian still had his cute smile that made me weak in the knees.

"Um, I'd love to" I said slowly, hardly breathing.

My mother made no move to stop any of this at any point.

"Great, let's go grab your stuff!" Alex grinned, jumping out of the chair and grabbing my hand.

We walked up the stairs and then Alex went into my room. It wasn't that easy to tell which one was mine, firstly it was covered in posters, and secondly Bullet was blasting out.

"Any news with you?" Alex asked, jumping on my bed as I stood awkwardly in the middle.

"Um… no? Oh, I learnt to scream" I smiled, I had always wanted to scream, and I'd finally learnt how to do it probably last month. I had been so happy I'd screamed along to all my BMTH songs. I got grounded for a week.

"How did your mom like that?" He chuckled,

"She didn't" I sighed, shaking my head.

Alex had already learnt all about my mother, by only talking to her ten minutes…

Great.

"Which ones yours?" Alex asked, looking at the mass of bags.

"All of them"

Alex looked at me confused; I explained that I was moving out.

"Oh, well. We'll pack 'em all" He said, grabbing the smallest bag ever and then calling Zack and Rian to get the big ones.

Jack tried to help, but I was scared he'd break his tiny arms and I'd have a army of Barakittens after me.

"You're in our bus because you're only a soloist. The other bands have their own bus" Matt explained to me when I got into their bus.

I nodded, "Wait, what about my backing band?"

"All Time Low" Matt said, and walked off to check something random about the running of this small family.

I was frozen, woah. I was going on tour with ATL and they were my backing band.

The world has officially gone insane.

Alex came in and sat near to me and was texting someone, every so often he'd look up at me, I was just looking at him through a glass window that he didn't know about.

I could see a girl's name in the phone, and lots of kisses.

Did he have a girlfriend?

Somehow I felt like I didn't want to met her, hear about her or even know of her existence.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm sorry I made you a bitch Kizzy. Please forgive me! D:**

**Enjoy guyslings. It's not my best... yeah. I had to doo something important... muahahahahaha you just won't find out until later. ;)**

**Lupe's POV;**

I was awoken by Jack. He had somehow managed to get my clothes.

Even the one's I went to bed in.

"JACK BASSAM BARAKAT!" I screamed, wrapping the cover around my body like a toga.

"Lupe!" Jack called from the front room; I stormed out of my bunk and came face to face with Jack and the whole of the ATL band and crew.

I glared at all of them; Alex was sitting on the sofa, ignoring everything. Buried completely in his phone.

"Guys, give Lupe her clothes back" Alex said impatiently.

Jack pouted. Alex looked at him clearly in the eyes. It was like watching two battles of wills. I knew Alex would win from the start.

"Fine" Jack muttered, pouting even more.

I got all my clothes back; it was still pretty disturbing how Jack managed to get my clothes of my sleeping body.

I had an uber quick shower and quickly got dressed in my grey skinnies and my zombie top.

"Lupeykins!" Jack called, sitting on my lap as I was tuning my guitar.

"What Jackykins?" I smiled, pushing him onto the floor; he pouted and rubbed his back.

"Alex's lady friend is coming, want to meet her after sound check?"

"Um, sure" I smiled fakely. I didn't want to meet Alex's girlfriend. I still had recurring dreams about him. A lot.

**Alex's POV;**

Lupe just got on stage, she was quickly tuning her guitar, I had offered to be her guitarist so she could sing, but she said she'd do it for the actual gigs so I didn't have to worry in sound checks.

I was still plagued with dreams, most of the time we'd just talk. It always ended in a kiss.

It sucked, I was hoping my friend Kizzy could help, and she was coming this afternoon for the first show of our tour. We'd known each other for ages. She was so much like a sister, more than my half-sisters where to be honest.

"Okay… Evan? Am I good to go?" She smiled onstage, looking really small compared to the stage.

Evan nodded and gave her the thumbs up. I sighed and walked to meet her as she got offstage.

"Hi" I smiled, sighing.

"Hey" Lupe said without even looking up as she placed her guitar in the stand.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I stopped myself, she looked up, her green eyes questioning.

"Um, want to meet Kizzy?" I asked, inwardly sighing.

"Sure" She said, I couldn't tell why, but all of a sudden she seemed pissed.

I grabbed her hand, forcing myself to not dwell on the softness of her skin.

"This way" I whispered into her ear, she shivered when she thought I wasn't looking. Did she hate me so much? I hadn't done anything to her… yet.

I was always the guy getting my heart broke. I wasn't a man-whore like everyone thought. All I had to own up too was that I drunk. Yeah, it helped me deal with this whole lifestyle and Daniel. Girls just took an advantage, and I was too stupid to stop them. I thought they'd want to get to know me, not 'Alex Gaskarth lead of All Time Low'. But all they wanted was one thing. And the one time I find a girl that I really like, and I thought she liked me too…

I sighed loudly, causing Lupe to stare at me.

I shook my head mouthing 'nothing'.

We entered the parking lot behind the venue where our buses where sitting, being on a huge tour like this, we had everyone. Black Veil Brides, All Time Low, Fall For Deceit, Framing Hanley, Bring Me The Horizon… I thought it was one of the best tour's I'd been on since Bamboozle.

A small group was converged in the middle, I saw in the centre was an average height girl with shoulder length auburn hair.

"Kizzy" I smiled, she pushed her way out of the crowd and ran towards me.

"ALEX!" She screamed as we hugged. "I missed you!"

"Me too!" We both laughed, Lupe was looking really awkward by my side.

"Oh, Kizzy, This is Lupe" I smiled, realising her, but leaving my arm around her shoulder.

"Hi" Kizzy smiled, Lupe waved shyly.

"You girls become… buddies? While I go get Jack" I smiled, leaving them to talk.

**Lupe's POV;**

I smiled at her as Alex left.

"So… um… are you Alex' girlfriend?" I asked, trying to seem cool.

"No, but we will" Kizzy grinned, flicking her hair.

"Oh, um. Cool" I smiled.

Kizzy sighed impatiently "Alex likes me, he's just a little shy" I nodded, I didn't know her well, but Kizzy seemed a little full of herself.

"Nawh. You like Alex!" She laughed at me.

I tried to protest but she continued. "Look, Lupe. Me and Alex have a… arrangement. I mean, hey if he asks you out-which I doubt- you're welcome. But I'm sure he wont"

"We'll say" I muttered,

"I always win" She smiled like a cat stalking her prey.

"Like I said, we shall see. This is war" I muttered again, as Alex returned.

"You girlies getting along?" He asked, handing us drinks and Jack hugged Kizzy,

"I'm sure we understand each other" Kizzy said while she was hugging jack.

Alex looked happy. He is really clueless to girl drama…

I looked down at my watch and said my goodbyes so I could get ready for the gig.

If war is what Kizzy wants, it's war she shall get.

I smiled as I reached our bus; I was going to be a bitch.

And, Alex was going to ask me out, he just doesn't know if yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Why, heelllo again. I was dead for awhile becasue I got an award in school.**

**At the awards evening there was this really fit guy, and he was looking at me. :/**

**Plus, My first award... I BROKE. Yuh, Glass. Meh, Weelll; Enjoy guys.**

**BVB is in. :DD:D:DD:**

**Lupe POV;**

I was trying my best most of the next day to talk to Alex, but Kizzy was always there.

Winking, giggling, smiling, and flicking her hair.

I hate her. She was basically draped over Alex's shoulder until sound check.

"Oh, Alex, can you play guitar for me today?" I smiled and batted my eyelashes, Alex smiled and nodded, he slung his guitar over his back and hopped on stage.

"So, I'm going to scream a little, can you also… sing?" I asked sweetly, twirling my hair through my fingers.

Alex looked at me through narrowed eyes, "Sure…" Off stage, Kizzy was glaring at me. She mouthed something that I didn't catch so I discreetly flipped her off.

"Ok, this is Rebel Love Song!" I smiled; I could see Black Veil Brides sitting by the sound desk waiting for their sound check. Andy winked and the rest cheered.

* * *

><p><em>"I cannot hide what's on my mind,<em>

_I feel it burning deep inside,_

_A passion crime to take what's mine,_

_Let us start living for today,_

_Never gonna' change my mind,_

_We can leave it all behind,_

_Nothin's gonna' stop us,_

_No not this time,_

_Take your hand in mine_

_It's ours tonight,_

_This is a Rebel Love Song,_

_Hearts will sacrifice,_

_It's do or die,_

_This is a Rebel Love Song,_

_My outlaw eyes have seen their lies,_

_I choke on all they have to say,_

_When worlds collide what's left inside,_

_I hold on tight and hear you pray,_

_Never gonna' change my mind,_

_We can leave it all behind,_

_Nothin's gonna' stop us,_

_No not this time,_

_Take your hand in mine,_

_It's our tonight,_

_This is a Rebel Love Song,_

_Hearts will sacrifice,_

_It's do or die,_

_This is a Rebel Love Song,_

_Wild and running for one reason,_

_They can't stop us from our freedom,_

_Never gonna' change my mind,_

_We can leave it all behind,_

_Nothin's gonna' stop us,_

_No not this time,_

_So…_

_Take your hand in mine,_

_It's ours tonight,_

_This is a Rebel Love Song,_

_Hearts will sacrifice,_

_This is a Rebel Love Song"_

"Thanks guys!" I smiled onstage to the crowd, bursting at the seems, "That was my last song; Give it up for All Time Low!" I said, raising my hands, cue screaming, "Give it up for Black Veil Brides" More screaming, "And everyone and everything on this tour!" I screamed.

I smiled, and took the hands of ATL and bowed; I grinned and then walked offstage into the arms of Andy Biersack.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I mumbled, looking at my feet.

"It's cool, Lupe" He smiled,

I blushed deeply as he lent down and whispered into my ear, "Want to hang out sometime?"

I nodded, looking into his ice blue eyes, He smiled

"Come to our bus sometime" He said as he disappeared on stage into the wall of noise.

* * *

><p>I walked back to my bus and had a quick shower, as I walked out in just a towel wrapped around my body I almost ran into Alex.<p>

"Oh hey" He smiled; I blushed and sifted uncomfortably in just my towel.

"Hi" I whispered, it was just us in the bus, about three feet away, I had to squeeze past him to get to the bunks.

"Wait Lupe!" Alex called after me; I stopped, turning to see him walking closer.

"Um, do you want to… go out? Sometime… I mean, as friends if you'd like it like that… I don't really mind… I mean you don't have to I just-" Alex mumbled off until I put a finger on his lips.

"That'd be cool" I smiled.

Alex smiled under my fingertips, his warm brown eyes caught my gaze, then only three seconds later I was aware that I was kissing Alex Gaskarth.

It was just like I'd remembered it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Bam! This is really important in the whole story. Enjoy. :3**

**Oh, I am now the co-writer to an awesome writer called Carlin Davis. Please check it out; it's called Shameless.**

**Lupe's POV;**

I backed away slowly after a few moments; I looked straight into Alex's eyes. I suddenly didn't want to fight for his attention; I didn't want to make him like me. I wanted him to like me back.

"Lupe" He whispered softly, running his fingers through me hair which was still wet and the tips. I looked away, I felt so ashamed of what I've done. How can you explain it? I mean, I didn't like Alex. I just didn't want that bitch getting her claws into him, and taking him away from me. I'm so selfish.

"Lupe" Alex repeated, looking into my eyes, he leaned forward to kiss me again but I pushed him away, he looked at me wounded.

"Alex… Please" I stuttered, backing away, holding the small towel wrapped firmly around my body.

Alex looked at me confused, and then something dawned on him. "You used me, you… just… to… Kizzy" He chocked out, I nodded, looking away. Hoping this would be over soon. "I really liked you. I found you because I dreamt about you, and I guess… it wasn't the right girl. She wasn't a user… a slut" He spat, venom dripping from his words, tears streamed silently.

"And you have the audacity to cry" He said, I could tell you one thing; Alex doesn't shout. It's just not who he is, but when he gets angry, his whole speaking pattern changes, it becomes violent, darker.

He walked past me, as if I didn't exist. I dropped onto my knees crying after I heard the bus door slam behind me.

I kept on sobbing until I had run dry. I picked myself up shaking, I felt small and vulnerable, and Alex had shared my dream… I just went and ruined it. I didn't know what to do; I was nothing more than a small girl.

I went into my bunk and dressed quickly, I had no idea where anyone else was, probably at some after party. I was glad that no one had walked in on me, or Alex. It would've made everything that little harder.

* * *

><p>I walked into this house where the after-party was; people came up and commented how much stage chemistry Alex and I had, I tried my best to smile. I wanted to find Jack or Rian or Zack so I could talk to them and get them... To help me…<p>

I knocked on a door, I could hear something behind the door, but no one answered, I opened it, to see two people on the bed.

"Oh, I'm so sor-" I started, until I saw it was Alex and Kizzy. I gasped and almost screamed, expect an arm hooked around my waist and pulled me away.

"Are you okay?" A deep husky voice asked me, it was Andy.

I nodded, to afraid to speak.

"C'mon, let's get you back to your bus" He whispered into my ear, pulling me away from the loud noise. I nodded again, slowly breathing.

I didn't remember much about how I got back to the bus, but Andy was helping me the whole way.

"You want to tell me why you almost had a panic attack?" Andy asked softly, placing me on my bunk and then he crawled in behind me.

I sighed, "I didn't have a panic attack"

"You almost did. Tell"

"It's just…"

"Gaskarth? You like him, it's easy to tell. I can see what's in your eyes"

I looked into his blue eyes. "I can't…"

"Sh" He whispered, stroking my hair as I buried my face in his chest. I started to cry, Andy lifted my face so I was eye-level.

And, almost like before I was kissing him, only aware of it seconds later.

This time I didn't break away, I couldn't… just tonight I needed comforting just as much as Alex did and found in Kizzy's arms.

**Alex's POV;**

I walked back to the bus, mentally kicking myself for doing that to Kizzy, to myself.

I wasn't a man whore. I hated the title, I was given it all the time, but I didn't do anything…

I opened the door, I started to talk myself into going to Lupe's bunk and begging her to forgive me, I was slowly getting myself ready when I heard something.

I crept slowly into the bunk's and there I saw Lupe in her bunk, the curtain not quite drawn, and with her was Andy Biersack.

I chocked and rushed out the door to be sick.

**Lupe's POV;**

I woke up in Andy's arms, he was softly humming to himself.

I smiled and kissed him softly on the lips, so unaware of the drama happening outside.


	12. Chapter 12

**This is updated! DUN DUN DUNN.**

**Welp, review and all that. Much Love, Katie.**

**Lupe POV;**

I walked out of the bathroom after me and Andy shared a shower, everything was quiet… unusually so.

Andy was quickly getting dressed,

"Go do the walk of shame" I teased, kissing him softly.

He winked and then left, I closed the door behind him, I then got dressed in some shorts and a baggy top.

We didn't have a show today, it was just our buses going in transit to some venue up north, the bus made a noise, and then we were off.

I walked into the back lounge to find everyone watching Home Alone; Jack was mouthing all the words to himself and everyone else was looking at me with ranging emotions.

Alex's face held mine for awhile, I could see hurt, worry, pain and even disgust written across his face, but then it went blank and he looked down. Acting as if I wasn't even there.

Everyone else looked worried, and protective, I tried my best to smile and act as if everything was fine. 'Keep calm and carry on' I chanted in my mind.

But, someone was smirking and flicking her hair in my direction…

Looking like every bit of a Queen bitch Kizzy, she mouthed something to me before I collapsed into the sofa.

"I win"

I looked down and started to play with the blanket, I bit down on my lip-drawing blood.

* * *

><p>The next week of touring was so awkward… the rest of All Time Low band and crew soon became used to Andy, they were all friends anyway.<p>

All but Alex, Alex shut himself away, only leaving to get drunk and perform – usually in that order.

He'd come back so late blind drunk and begging… begging for someway to 'end his pain' from what I could figure out was that some girl cut him deeply. I thought it might've been Lisa, but I didn't know her, and for all I knew, she could be so nice.

"Is anyone up?" I heard Jack call one night; I took out my earphones and hopped down from my bunk.

Jack was supporting a very very drunk Alex.

"Everyone else is asleep" I said softly, taking in the image before me, Alex looked so… terrible. Like a lost child, his hair scruffy, stubble and his brown eyes blank and glazed over.

Jack sighed and ran a hand through his already dishevelled hair,

"Will you give me a hand with Alex?" Jack asked, as if to prove why Jack needed help Alex started to sing,

"Is this what it feels like finding out?

That I've got the guts to say anything,

Feels like breaking out,

When I can get my reputation,

Finally, I can see,

Honestly, I've got the guts to say anything!" as he sung, his voice got louder and more animated.

"C'mon buddy" Jack muttered, pulling Alex to his bunk, I stood there not entirely sure what to do,

Jack looked up and saw me, quickly remembering I was there "Lupe, can you go grab some aspirin, he's gonna need it"

I nodded and went to the cupboards, it was somewhere around here… then I found it behind the vodka bottle-ironic huh?

"Here" I said, handing Jack the whole packet, not really sure about the dosage.

Jack walked away, leaving me alone with Alex. I guess he went to go get some water, something that had entirely slipped my mind.

"Hey Alex, what's up?" I said, after Alex hugged me tight, so tight I couldn't breathe properly.

"Lupe, don't leave again? Please" Alex started sobbing into my chest; I started to awkwardly pat his hair,

"I'm not going anywhere" I whispered,

"I miss you, you now that?" Alex said, looking up at me like a child,

I nodded and rested my head on his hair.

"It's ok Alex, just sleep"

"One more thing… before I go to bed…" Alex whispered, almost to low for me to hear.

"Hm?" I asked, looking down, not seeing what would happen next.

Alex grabbed my face and started to kiss me forcefully, I felt his stubble rub against my skin, I tried to mumble and pull away but something a lot more than just Alex's grip kept me put.

The kiss soon got more and more heated, Alex started to trail kisses down my neck, I gasped and then Alex pulled away, he looked at me for a while, then he flopped backwards and fell asleep.

I got up and ran into my bunk, sobbing into my pillow.


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, so guys, I made Alex and Lupe 'get it on' because I thought that it's good for the story. I'm sorry Andy for doing that, you'll never find out, but if you do, I'm free. xD**

**Okay, stalkerish fan-girl aside, WHOSE SEEEN ATLS UK TOURDATES? I'm going on Feb 3rd. xD **

**Lupe's POV;**

After yesterday, nothing can truly freak me out.

Everything went back to seemingly normalness. Just being near Alex freaked me out, he said he couldn't remember anything, but sometimes I'd catch him looking at me intently.

Andy wasn't around a lot, he'd broken his ribs so Black Veil Brides where at the moment off our tour.

"Hey, Lupe!" Jack smiled, jumping on me; I moaned and sat up straight so his weight wasn't all on my chest.

"Hai Jackykins, what's up?" I smiled, Jack was in a better mood then he had been all week,

"Alex isn't drinking, he's actually in his bunk writing" Jack whispered into my ear then giggled like a child,

I guess that's good right? Least the boy isn't getting drunk and doing who knows what with total strangers.

"You should go help" Jack mused, suddenly grabbing my waist and picking me up and slinging me over his back,

"Jack!" I protested as he carried me into the bunks and opened Alex's curtain.

He didn't even look up, he had earphones in and music playing loudly, his hair tucked into his trademark grey beanie and he was bent over a waitress style notepad which looked really battered.

Then Jack pushed me headfirst into the bunk, Alex looked up and tried to steady me,

"Oh, hello Alex! I didn't see you there…" Jack grinned quickly, holding his hands in front of him like a passive child, and then he ran away.

"What the hell?" Alex said, I looked at him shocked,

Alex stared back, no emotion on his face. Nothing, actually, as he looked down at me, I could see slight disgust.

"Alex..?" I said softly, reaching out to touch his hand,

"Go home Lupe" He said coldly, snatching his hand anyway before I could touch it.

"What… what happened?" I asked quietly, I looked down, I was sure I wasn't going to cry in front of him.

"Nothing, I'm just not that child anymore that follows stupid dreams" He snapped, "And girls" He said the last part looking up into my eyes, his brown soulful eyes burning into mine.

"Alex…. I don't understand" I whispered, looking at him from under my eyelashes,

Alex tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, then he leaned down, our noses touching, I blinked and watched as our eyelashes merged.

"It hurts me… every time I see you with Andy… it hurts me here" Alex whispered, holding my hand up to his heart, "Right here"

I gulped, my breathing got heavier and heavier,

"I can't Alex… not now" I sighed, blinking before tears could escape.

**Alex POV;**

A tear caught in her dark eyelashes,

I didn't mean for this to happen like this… I thought I could act that I wasn't interested, like I could push her away and stop her from spiralling down with me.

"I'm sorry" I sighed, pushing her away, and wrapping my hands around my knees and resting my face on them.

"Don't be" She said softly, wrapping her arms and my body "We'll get past this"

"I hope so…" I looked up; Lupe was looking at me intently with her large eyes.

"What?" She smiled softly,

"Did I ever tell you that you're beautiful?" As soon as I said that, she ducked her head, letting her thick hair fall over her flaming cheeks.

"Um, no not really... I mean, I'm not, but I mean, that's your personal opinions" She babbled on, not looking up.

"Lupe, Lupe" I said, putting my finger on her lips "Stop"

She looked up again, her hair clung to the sides of her face, I brushed it away so I could see her eyes, the skin were I touched went red.

"Just tonight" She whispered, looking anywhere but at me,

"What?" I asked, pulling her closer to hear her whisper.

"Just tonight, that's all I can give you" She said softly, simply, looking into my eyes.

I wasn't about to argue about nobelium or morals, I took her into my arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**Lupe POV;**

I woke up to Alex softly stroking my hair, my back was facing away from him so I closed my eyes again, praying that I hadn't just made the most stupid mistake ever.

"I know you're awake" Alex said his breathing slow and timed on my neck.

I rolled over, face-to-face to him, his breath-taking brown eyes.

"So she awakes" He smirked, looking down for a second, then meeting my eyes with a half-smile.

"Good morning" I whispered, dropping my gaze to my fingers that were twisting the fabric of the cover around the tips.

He was silent for a moment; I knew he was just trying to find a way to rephrase his next sentence so it didn't hurt either of us.

"Um... Did it... hurt?" He stuttered, I guessed he didn't usually pay much attention to the girls he slept with. Or compassion.

"Not as much as I'd thought" I lied, truthfully I cried the whole way through.

"It's just... I thought you'd... Andy..." He sighed,

"We got close enough, a few more seconds and we would've, but I couldn't" I shook my head, "It wasn't what I wanted, at the time"

Alex nodded softly, I knew so much was swirling in his head, how could I've even considered doing this... both guys thought that I'd lost my virginity to them, but it was only true for one.

"I better go, before everyone wakes up" I said, and then quickly retracting what I said because of the hurt that flashed through his eyes "You know, before they start asking questions."

Alex smiled sadly, and then kissed my forehead, freezing me to the spot. "Good bye...Lucinda"

As soon as I was out of his bunk I collapsed to the floor, trying to stop myself from crying out.

Everything was so cruel...so unfair. I had two perfect guys. I loved them both, but I had to choose, and I couldn't. Because, there will always be one part of me, wondering what it'd be like, with the other.

I couldn't live like that.

Alex knew that I would choose Andy, in the end.

He was the safer option, he wouldn't hurt me.

**~*(*'*)*~**

"Ciao Lupeykins!" Jack shouted, slamming into me, "I shall miss you"

I hugged him tightly "Good bye Jackykins, I love you"

Jack let me go, after a little time spent persuading him that I will see him again, and that Zack and Rian needed to say goodbye too.

"Bye Lupe, have fun" Zack grinned and pulled me into his muscular body for a warm hug,

"Bye Zackary, don't let Jack eat anyone in my absence"

Zack nodded and spun me around, dropping me in front of Rian who without waiting hugged me.

"Good-bye my little fan girl Lupe" Rian smiled, showing off his amazing teeth for a rare time.

"Good bye best friend! Smile more!" I chuckled.

After that display of PA, (Public Affection, duh) Alex stood watching me silent from the side-lines, his hand tucked in his impossibly skinny-skinnies.

"Goodbye Lucinda, don't forget us" He said curtly, making Jack glare at him.

I waved at him, at them then grabbed my stuff and walked out the bus, to the waiting car. That held my boyfriend.

"Hey! Let me help you with that" Andy said, trying to grab my bags,

"No, you sit back. I don't want the army trying to kill me if you re-break your ribs and never ever ever sing again" I stated firmly, shoving my stuff in the boot.

Andy chuckled as I sat back in the car, "That won't stop me, I want the world"

I shook my head at him, poking my tongue out, he leaned across the driver's seat to kiss me, when he pulled back he grimaced.

"Told you"

* * *

><p><strong>AN;**

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry about the wait... I hope this makes up for it!**

**Anyways, I have 35 reviews for this. THIRTY-FIVE. THREE FIVE. Okay. Thats ALOT. I'm so thankful, and if you ever want to, just look at my other stuff. xD **

**I love you!**

**Katie**


	15. Chapter 15

**Lupe POV;**

***A couple of months later***

"How comes you can watch any of this?" Andy moaned, burying his head in my shoulder.

I chuckled and snuggled closer to his chest, my face facing in the opposite direction to his, which I'm guessing, was his main problem.

"Just because you're desperate" I teased, letting my hair falling over most of my face so I could just make out the blurry lights of the television.

I crossed my arms over his chest, the slowly letting my body go weak and soft, as if I was asleep.

Andy wrapped his arms around my body, placing his hands on the small of my back underneath my top.

It was all going to plan.

Any second now, he was going to pull me up closer to him, and because my hair was covering my face he couldn't kiss me, the only place he could touch was my neck. He was then going to slowly work his way up to my lips.

And the rest, as they say, will be history.

I smiled to myself under the mass of my hair.

Andy pulled me tightly, his warm lips slowly tracing my neck, my chin and finally landing on my lips. Our breathing got heavier and faster as one of his hands dropped to rest on my thigh, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself up so I could see into his eyes more clearly. Open and breathless.

Just as he brushed my hair out of my eyes, the phone started to ring.

"Leave it!" He murmured, nibbling at my neck as I tried to concentrate on finding the offending mobile.

"Hush" I whispered teasingly as I found it under one of the many pillows and trying to get my breathing under control.

"Oh, hey! Wait… what? No, no, we're on our way" I said as I hung up, fear clenching in my throat.

"What?" Andy asked, detecting the terror in my voice.

"Jacks… Jack's… in the hospital" I took a deep breath "He's been in a car accident, he left to meet a girl and then… oh Jack!" I stuttered, burying my head in Andy's chest and sobs racked my body.

The words spun around in my head, while All Time Low where over here for a festival, Jack left to meet a girl, on the way Alex tried to get a hold of him, from what I found out Jack had pulled over, but a lorry hadn't seen him… and crashed straight into the car. Rian had called me as soon as he found out that Jack's hospital was only about an hour from my place.

Of course I was up and dressed within ten seconds (More likely minutes), gulping down some coffee while Andy started the car, I leant against the door frame for a while, watching him and thinking to myself, how the hell did I get that lucky?

I smiled to myself for half a second, and then felt sick to my stomach.

I was too scared to answer it, and at a time like this?

I'm a terrible person.

That one hour drive was possibly the longest time I had to ever wait for something, more than my GCSE results, a record company choosing if they wanted me to join their ranks. It all seems trivial now, now that I was about to lose someone within hours, not the months I had to wait previously.

Andy placed a reassuring hand on my thigh as we drove; I was biting the skin around my nails trying to think of anything but the image of Jack mangled body, and the less traumatic thing I planned to spend the evening doing.

Again, I'm a **T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E** person, and friend.

"Lupe…" Andy whispered, "We're here"

I Looked out the window, instead of the dark torture chamber of my darkest imaginings that I'd came up with on the drive over here, I saw a clean refreshing, almost friendly building. With pregnant women walking out to meet the prospective fathers awaiting them in their cars with toothy grins, an old lady being wheeled through the small but lush garden by a cheery nurse.

Despite all of this, I still gulped.

"Not too fond of hospitals, eh?" Andy asked after he'd managed to coax me out of the car and onto the ward Rian told us that Jack was on, the only other important thing he'd forgotten was which bed.

"Hello, may I help you?" A receptionist asked, quickly looking us up and down.

"Um, yes. We're looking for Jack Barakat, Bassam Barakat" I said simply, trying not to look too hard at the other patients.

After some quick tapping on her keyboard, she looked up and smiled softly, "Bed six"

I nodded and looked at the bed next to us, okay, considering we were by bed two, Jack couldn't be that far away.

"Lupe?" I heard someone say in disbelief, I turned around, my hand entwined with Andy's to see Alex carrying those cardboard cup holders, carrying what looked like coffee.

"You came" He smiled, dropping his gaze to our hands, his face falling. He looked back up through his eyelashes and with visible effort, he smiled again.

"Yeah" I said softly.

_This will be eventful, mark my words._

**~*(*'*)*~**

**A/N;**

**Yeah! I finally updated this. 3:**

**Okay, bascially, Bla bla bla :insert reason why I haven't been updating and how sorry I am:**

**So Review if you love me, or if you don't. I'm not too fushed.**

**I have 39 reviews. GAHAGAHAGHA can we see if we can get 40 tonight? That's only one of you beautiul people. Have fun. :3**


	16. Chapter 16

**Lupe POV**

I smiled at Alex and nodded, Andy gripped my hand tighter and spoke up.

"Hey, where's Jack?"

"RIGGGHHTT HEEERRRREEE LUPEYKINS!" I heard Jack scream from about one bed down,

"Found him" I smirked, as Rian and Zack pulled back the curtain and waved.

"He is never one to miss out on girls and sympathy" Alex chuckled,

I followed him to the bed where Jack was propped up by a couple of pillows, and his leg was raised in a sling.

"It's not as bad as it looks" Rian stated, knowingly,

Jack pouted, obvously wanting more attention.

"He's broken his leg, won't be out of here for a couple of weeks" Zack piped up, sitting down on the only chair by Jacks chair and immeditly regretting it as he hugged Zack's beefy shoulders tightly, licking his ear.

"Loves you" Jack murmured, rubbing his face up Zack's like a cat.

"Barakitty" I said, nodding to try to stop my laughter.

"LUPE GIVE MA SOME SNUGGLES!" Jack shouted again, I poked his nose and bent down to hug him.

"I missed you, Rian missed you, Zack missed you. Alex probally missed you the most but he's just a guy and can't admit his feelings"

Alex shot Jack a dark look, "Yes, totally"

Jack flipped Alex off.

"Ah, how I have missed you guys"

"Andy, no offense, but hiding behind our petite little Lupe isn't going to hide your lionness from me. GIVE ME BRONESS" Jack said, pulling Andy down into a hug, Andy patted Jack's head uncomforablly,

"Sersouly, Lupe, How do you get any if Andy doesn't like human contact?" Jack asked poshly,

My face went bright red.

"Is Jack high?" I asked Rian, hiding my face behind my hair.

"He's drugged up on the meds the good ole doc gave him" Rian laughed,

"Brilliant"

Jack, being more larger than life than usual, decied to hit on the nurse who came to check on him,

She, was a All Time Low fan with huge eyes and mousy figure whose eyes lit up when she saw all the Rock Stars in her hospital.

"Hiiiiiiii, my name's um... Anne and I'm going to... Um, well." She paused as Jack winked at her and blushed, "Be right back.."

She ran out, probally to start hyperventalating into a paper bag.

"Jack, thats mean" Zack chuckled, looking up with weary eyes at Jack who seemed to have calmed down in the last twenty seconds.

"I want to see Amy" Jack moaned,

"Who?" I whispered, Alex looked at me for the first time since Jack's teasing,

"The girl who he was going to see, Amy, His new girl-friend"

I nodded, Jack and Natasha had decied on just being great friends.

"Daym, she is beautiful. Amazing hair, I want to see her" Jack pouted again.

"I'll go use the phone" Rian sighed, the poor guy, used as a slave.

After Rian left, Alex looked at me for a little while,

"What?"

"Um, Lupe, you know we're going to be stuck in England for awhile... well, we don't have a place to stay"

I looked up at Andy who hadn't left my side, he sighed and waved his hand as if to say 'sure just dont annoy me'

"I take that as a yes?"

I nodded.

Why couldn't Andy make up a random lie so that I didn't have to live with Alex Gaskarth for the next few weeks?

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN;_**

**HAPPPY BIRTHDAY SO WRONG ITS RIGHT!**

**The only reason I updated was to celebrate,**

**PARRRTTTHYY.**

**Btw, if you read this another day, (you suck... kiding) SWIR's b-day is on the 25th of September.**

**I hope you guys enjoy this,**

**Katie. :3**


	17. Chapter 17

"So… This is the bathroom, mine and Andy's room and those two rooms at the end are both doubles, so pick and choose wherever you sleep" I said, opening the cupboard and pulling out some blankets.

"Why thank you Lupe" Rian winked as I dumped all the blankets on Alex, "I'll go here" Rian walked into the furthest room from mine "I don't want to be kept up all night"

I blushed a deep scarlet, waving my hand impatiently as I disappeared into my room, where Andy was watching me patiently from the bed.

"This isn't going to end well" I sighed,

Andy cocked his head to a side, grabbing my waist and pulling me close. "I'm sure it'll be fine"

"Gah! Since when did you stop being a pessimist?"

"I never was" He chuckled,

"Hm. It's not cool being the half-empty guy **Andy**. Stop being a pessimist!" I said sarcastically, leaning my forehead against his.

"You are really cute when you're all sly and that" he smiled, kissing my nose.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder

Andy pulled me onto his lap, kissing every possible uncovered skin within his reach.

"Hey guys! I… um….OKAY OKAY I CANT SEE ANYTHING" Rian said, quickly putting his hands over his eyes "I'm backing out, I backing out"

I giggled despite my awkwardness, looking up from Andy's eyes.

"Where is the bathroom?" Rian asked, poking his head from behind the door, his hands firmly over his eyes.

"The only other door in the landing, next to yours" Andy laughed light-heartedly, Rian nodded and turned to leave.

He was still blind because of his hands, so he walked into the door.

"Yeah… I should take my hands away from my face now" Rian said, Andy and I nodded, biting our lips trying to control the laughter rocking our bodies.

"Okay, maybe this will be slightly funny" I grinned, as Rian left, allowing us both to burst into laughter.

Andy smirked and kissed me.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN;_**

**Hello guys. :D**

**Yeah, I'm back. OLLA. I'm sorry for not doing updating shizz. I'll try my best to have a regular updating system, but I cant promise anything because I forget. D:**

**Much love, R&R**


	18. Chapter 18

**Alex POV;**

I woke up early, earlier than I was used to, but it's mainly because I couldn't get things to stop storming around my mind, it was like my thoughts were on a rampage, bringing up every single stupid mistake, or lost opportunity to the forefront of my head. So, even counting sheep became faces, faces of the girls I'd been with, the ones I'd broken, hurt or lost. Every single mother fucking girl I could remember, and some I didn't.

I stumbled downstairs as my sleepless night caught up with me, a strong smell of cheese and eggs calling me into the kitchen.

"Rough night?" A musically amused voice said, Lupe smiled smugly. I could tell even though her back was to me, in front of the cooker.

"You can say that again" I said gruffly, dumping myself onto the nearest chair.

"Rough night?" She repeated, laughing as she turned to face me, her hands resting on either side of the hob.

"Great. Another comedian. Jack and you, perfection right there" I said sarcastically,

"Did you know, Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?"

"All I got from that is '_Alex, you are so witty_'"

"Get over yourself, Gaskank" She grinned, throwing a tea towel at me,

"Thanks! I've always wanted one of these! Saves socks!"

She grimaced, "Keep it. I don't want to wash _THOSE_ socks."

"Too late, remember when I dumped a pile of clothes last tour? Yeah. My socks"

She glared. I laughed.

Lupe shook her head and turned back to the hob, stirring something because I could hear the fork scraping against the bottom of a pan and liquid.

I walked over to her, resting my head on her shoulder, she leaned her face onto mine.

"Whatcha making?" I asked, forgetting myself and wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Omelette stupid" She smirked, sticking her tongue out to me.

I smiled softly, her face soften and she blushed, her hair falling in front of her face.

I sighed and pulled the hair away from her eyes, my fingertips touching her skin, leaving a trail of heat. The moment our eyes met, my heart started to beat faster and faster, we both started to lean in, and almost…

Our lips…

Just about to touch….

I could feel her breath on mine…

"Hey guys! What's going on?" Zack said, walking into the kitchen stretching out his huge arms.

"Nothing!" We shouted in unison, splitting apart.

Zack looked at us strangely as I slunk back to my seat, putting my head in my hands.

'Stupid. Stupid move Alex. Great, just when you thought Lupe and you didn't… weren't ever going to be together you go do that.' My mind shouted at me, I took it in silence. Knowing what I had done, wanted to do… should've done, was wrong and stupid.

I'm not some horny teenage kid.

But she makes me feel like one…

* * *

><p><strong>AN;**

**Holla! I missed you all.**

**I MET ALL TIME LOW. I MET THEMHDGCAJF. I went to see them twice (3rd and 4th of feb 2012) and on the 4th I met them with a M&G. I had EE for the first date and I was at barrier by Jack, and second date I was at barrier by Zack.**

**Alex gave me his cough. . and he kept touching my face saying he owned it, I hope he washed them hands.**

**Flyzik is perfection! We wanted hugs but he couldn't so Alex told us to grab his dick. :DDD We didn't...**

**Collussy allowed us to touch his bald head and he said he liked my accent!**

**I met The Maine too! John is lovely and Pat let me hug him. :D**

**If you wanna see the photos look on my DA account, and I'll be writing out what happened on a journal in there too!**

**Surport was The Maine & We Are The In Crowd btw. :3**

**I love you guys! I'm changing Lupe's bandname, and I want some ATL lyrics that make good band names, and I want you all to have your say so give me ideas, then I'll pick my favs, and you can vote. :3**


	19. Chapter 19

**YOU MUST READ THIS BECAUSE NO ONE HELPED ME LAST CHAPTER.**

**It's rude. :P**

**I need a new band name for Lupes band, I want it to remain a ATL lyric though, I just need a new name because the old one is in use elsewhere in my writings and I don't want it to over lap. :3 THANKS!**

* * *

><p><strong>Lupe POV;<strong>

After Zack came down, Rian soon followed and I ended up with three fourths of All Time Low crowding around the table, banging their forks like five year olds. Rian had taken it one step further and was mock chewing on the table settings.

"Luuuuuuuupe" Zack whined,

"Yes, Zackary?" I replied without turning around

"I'm hungry" He said, I was sure it was accompanied with a pout,

I sighed and turned around, yeah, I was right, Zack was pouting. "Maybe if you didn't work out so much then you wouldn't be so hungry"

"But the ladies like my muscles"

"I do like his muscles, this boy speaks the truth" Rian added,

"I don't like them; I like my man a little more… natural" Alex in his highest pitch voice,

"It's only because your fat, Alex" Zack pointed out,

"Oh hell no! Honey hold mah earrings" Alex said, standing up abruptly, Rian put a hand on his chest.

"Gaskarth, he was right, you are fat" Rian stated.

Alex opened his mouth to protest, but I walked in front of him, blocking his view of the others. "Here, stop whining" I placed down a plate full of omelettes.

Before I had the chance to step back all the guys dived for the plate, seconds later Zack managed to stuff at least five in his face, Rian was beating Alex with a fork as Alex tried to pry an omelette onto his plate.

I couldn't help but smile at the image.

Then it hit me, we were missing a key character, one who would be beating Rian while screaming 'My food bitches!' then probably start raping Alex.

_Jack._

"I miss Jack" I sighed, without realising I had spoken out loud.

The fighting stopped, and they put all the food and instruments down.

We all sat, and equally stood in my case, in silence, and then we heard footsteps as Andy appeared at the door.

"Hey guys, good morning" He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me lightly on the lips.

"Oh hi Andy" Rian smiled, Zack nodded. That dude was still shy around him.

Alex just looked down, although I could see the blush creeping across his neck, then I remembered why we should both be ashamed.

Andy had managed to kiss me, just the way Alex had tried not so long ago.

I pulled Andy's arms off me and walked back to the stove.

Andy cocked his head to the side and looked at me strangely, I just shook my head and turned around, trying to control my breathing and tears.

"Um, okay… I've gotta go pack for the tour… see you later…" Andy murmured, disappearing out the room, I didn't even know why he was in the kitchen this early, he hardly ate.

After Andy left everyone ate in silence. No fighting, no moaning, nothing. I tried to eat something, but I couldn't stop the feeling off butterflies, no not butterflies, they're way to gentle to be what I'm feeling. Bees, killer bees, attacking my stomach. Alex wouldn't look at me, not once. I guess I feel like crap is because… I realise that I still have feelings for him, and its killing me. I don't want to feel anything for him, I want to be able to move on with my life, but he still clouds my thoughts daily, and I just can't… I can't let him go. And it hurts.


	20. Chapter 20

**Lupe POV;**

I guess life doesn't get easier when you get older, or maybe life just gets harder and harder instead.

"Lupe?" Rian whispered as he tiptoed into my room,

"Yeah?" I asked sleepily, rubbing my eyes,

"What's going to happen?"

I sat up in my bed, fully awake. "What do you mean?" I eyed Rian wearily,

"You can't hide it from me, neither can Alex" He sighed and half smiled sadly at me.

I collapsed back down on my bed, sighing as Rian moved and sat on the bed next to me.

"Why are you so smart?" I sighed, reaching to pat his head but not being able to reach because I was laying down so I had to make do with patting his shoulder.

"I'm not smart" Rian laughed, "I just see things other people don't" He paused, "It helps when people don't notice you"

"The perks of being a wallflower" I quoted, "And, for the record, I'll always notice you"

"Thanks"

"But, you gotta start admitting that your parents are actually a thumb and a potato"

"Dude, way to ruin our heart-to-heart"

I held my hands up laughing "Everyone was thinking it"

He tutted and shook his head, but not quite hiding his smile, "I'll see you at breakfast"

I threw a pillow at his retreating figure that just narrowly missed his head and earned a burst of laughter that continued as his steps could be heard going down the stairs until he was out of hearing range.

hat just narrowly missed his head as heontinued as his steps could be heard going down the staris until he was out of hearing rMy phone beeped somewhere deep under my covers, bringing me back from my happy mood. It had to be Andy, probably texting me to say how much he missed and loved me and how the tour was going so well. I could barely bring myself to read it without feeling sick and dizzy let alone reply, so I let my phone lay buried and beeping away. I closed my eyes for half a second, but all I could see was a sick mash up of Andy and Alex's face, looking at me with sad pleading eyes accusing me of being unfaithful, I could practically hear the whispers of fans if the news ever broke, 'slut' 'whore' 'doesn't deserve anyone' 'die alone'. Without releasing I screamed out loud, and my eyes snapped open.

I will be faithful to Andy. It's not like I'm sleeping with Alex, he won't even look at me, let alone touch me. But, thinking of cheating isn't the same as actually doing it, right?

* * *

><p><strong>Alex POV;<strong>

Lupe smiled at me and softly kissed my lips, making me want more. I brushed my hair out of my eyes and looked at her laying down on my bed, she was staring right into my eyes, like she could see what I was thinking. I smiled and slowly started to undo the buttons on her shirt, smoothing it over her soft white shoulders, placing kisses along her collarbone as I did so, I felt her hands digging into my back,

"Why are you so beautiful?" I murmured at her neck as I nuzzled against it.

Then, I heard her scream.

I felt myself fall out of my bed, my eyes open seeing Jack laying across the bed next to mine fully dressed, amusement and sadness displayed across his features.

"Have a nice dream, Lex?" He mused, looking down at my pants.

"Whaa-?" I cut myself off when I released what he meant, I covered myself with a pillow.

"You should talk to her, you know, you can't deny it for any much longer"

"I do not know what you're talking about" I sniffed,

"Sure Alex" Jack shook his head, "It's not like you were moaning Lupe in your sleep"

"I wasn't!" I protested, "I mean, I didn't, I couldn't have"

"You're a worse liar than Zack, grow some lady balls and talk to her before I do it for you"

"Do you know why she screamed?"

"Want my honest opinion?" I nodded, "She has the same problem you do"

With that, Jack walked out the room, leaving me all alone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN;**_

_**I'm such a bad person ngl, I've decided that every Friday is Katie-upload-day. So whatever fanfic is really in need of updating I'll do it on Fridays I'm so so sorry that I never upload, I do try but I'm so lazy. Oh, and I love BVB still, but idek, I can't write about them as much, so I'm going to leave HTYPW on a cliff hanger because I can't do it anymore and of in the future I want to do more, it will have a sequel. Much love.**_

_**Katie **_

_**xoxo**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Alex POV;**

I walked downstairs, trying to follow Jack, but he clearly had a long head-start so I was so far behind him. Sitting at the bottom step was Lupe, her hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she was in a long man's shirt that I didn't look too closely at because I knew it was Andy's.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, trying to project as much cheerfulness into my voice.

Lupe lifted her head from her hands and looked me in the eyes, "The celling?"

"Hopefully" I chuckled awkwardly, running my hands through my hair and then regretting it when my hand came out the other side with the pink hair dye staining my hands.

"You should probably wash your hands, Alex" Lupe sighed, standing up as she reached my hand, touching the palm where the dye was stained, "I did tell you that you can't just leave the dye in until it dried, you actually need to wash it out"

I swallowed hard as I could feel the heat coming from her hands on mine, "Um, yeah. I guess I shouldn't have followed Jack's advice…"

She half-smiled, looking absently at my hand, "Since when do we listen to Jack? I thought that was made clear when we wouldn't let him drive"

I laughed, and then marvelled as she joined in, looking up into my eyes. Without realising what I was doing, my free hand lifted and brushed the hair that was falling out of her bun and into her eyes.

"I'm sorry" I stuttered as she pulled back, her back hitting the wall.

She shook her head furiously. "No Alex, we can't"

* * *

><p><strong>Lupe POV;<strong>

"No Alex, we can't" I said firmly, pulling back until my back hit the wall.

Hurt flashed across his eyes, and I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder, "I miss us"

"I miss you." He whispered into my hair, "More than you could ever think of, I miss you, us, whatever it was"

I lifted my head, looking into his molten brown eyes. "It was this" I murmured, pressing my lips against his.

Alex took the initiative and pushed me back against the wall, kissing me breathless and his hand rested on my hip. I hooked my arms around his head, pulling him closer to me.

When we did finally break apart, he rested his head in the gap under my chin. "I did miss that" he whispered against my neck.

Then it all hit me, I'm a cheat.

"Why did I just do that?" I snapped, pushing him off me, and backing a few feet up the stairs.

"Do what?" He looked wounded at my sudden change in character.

"You know what!" I burst, "I'm a cheating whore! How can anyone like me? Fuck" I collapsed onto my knees.

"It's not your fault" He sighed, sitting on the step below mine, "It was me, I kissed you back, I mean, I should've thought about it an-"

I cut him off with a kiss.

"I think I should babble a bit more often if that's your retaliation" Alex stage-whispered,

"How can something so wrong feel so right at the same time?" I asked, my voice reminding me of a pleading child.

"Because it's not as wrong as you would think"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN;**_

_**Sorry. This was meant to be up Friday. But I went out both days (I'm actually social now. I know, scary) so to make up for it, I'm posting two other chapters to two different fics. Enjoy. **_

_**Katie **_

_**xoxo**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Lupe POV;**

"I'm sorry, Alex" I stuttered, standing up "But it's so wrong. And I cant help but love it"

"Don't leave it like this, Lupe, please god dont" Alex whispered, grabbing my face between his hands, tears glinting in his eyes.

"There isn't any other way to leave it!" I shouted back, salt water dripping from my eyes.

I pulled back and ran back into my room. Slamming the door behind me.

What have I done?

What does this make me now?

No words could come out.

Everything was so wrong and so right. I never thought I'd end up in the position where my life was like this, where I had to choose between two amazing guys, but two completely different personalities. They both felt so right, like we were different pieces of a puzzle, easily falling into place, but who fit me better? Andy was the romantic one, he always was clear with his emotions and feelings, I could count on him to tell me anything anytime, but Alex was the passionate one, he couldn't control when it would just burst and take us both down with it, and I loved that. I loved the danger he brought me more than anything in this whole world, yet I loved Andy's sweet dependable side to hold me when I cried, and even though we weren't together a lot, I knew, I knew he'd be faithful. Alex was well known to play the field, could I deal with that? I don't know what to do. Could I stand by him, knowing one night on tour he could just get a little too drunk and forget who I was in the arms of some blonde girl?

Why do I put myself through all of this?

Because I love him, them, a small part of me whispered, it had to be the sane part of me, because I never heard it before.

"I'm sorry, both of you. I'm so sorry" I whispered, pulling my arms around me and resting my head on my knees. "The only excuse I have, is that I loved you"

* * *

><p><strong>AN;**

**I know this is so short. And I'm sorry I haven't updated at all. I was away last week at YCF, (its a festival for young carers, I care for my mother because she's disabled:3 ) so I didn't have the time. The next chapter will be a time skip. And this means this is coming to an end soon. I loved writing it, as long as it took. Thank you all, and I love you. **

**Katie **

**xoxo**


	23. Chapter 23

**Lupe POV;**

**Three Months Later.**

Tour. Of course, it was a tour with Alex around, and Andy was half way across the globe, but it was still a tour. It stretched out in front of me like a freshly paved road. New, fresh and pure. It had a few bumps, Alex being the biggest and most awkward one of them all, but nothing is a perfect ride. You need a few bumps and bruises along the way to make something feel really perfect.

I was all ready and packed up, installed into my brand new tour bus. My label had decided to finally give me my own when I'd signed up to them two months ago. It was my flagship tour with Hopeless. I was excited, and my backing band were all nice guys, even though they all treated me like a six year old, giving me the bottom bunk 'encase I fell out'. It didn't bother me much in the long run, bottom bunk met no awkward half naked body sliding down other peoples bunks in the middle of the night, all I had to do was keep my curtain firmly shut.

"Hey, Lupe, where's the fire?" Jess Bowen asked as she saw everyone from Fall For Deceit running around fixing our Casa De La Fallers (Don't Ask), our home away from home, ready for the tour.

"I don't know. I think I left it at home" I groaned, packing and unpacking into smaller places is a bitch.

She laughed. "I think you've got it better than over at All Time Low's bus, and mine, all the guys went out drinking last night. From what I heard, Jack got naked, and Alex collapsed so Zack carried him back, they have the hugest headaches ever"

I hoped she didn't notice how stiff I went at their names. An internal battle started up again, I know Alex hated me, and I'm sure the mutual feeling soon spread through the rest of his camp.

"Aha" I laughed stiffly, "Sounds like a brilliant way to start a new tour. Didn't Mayday Parade go out too?"

"Um, no. I don't think so. Derek was with his family, I just saw him saying goodbye to his little girl"

I nodded, I liked him, I liked his whole band. The Summer Set and Mayday Parade were bands I adored, and where full of people I got along with brilliantly. "They're the most mature on this tour"

"You'd probably be in the running too!" She smirked, "Oh, and Flyzik called for a tour meeting outside in the parking lot in 5"

I nodded, and she closed the bus's door and I heard her lightly land on the cement just below the steps.

~(*'*)~

We left the bus in a complete state of disarray, Mason (the drummer) was the only person all set to go for tonight. I groaned and moaned a little more and because I was the only female in our bus, they all said it was akin to having an old wife, or mother.

"Thanks guys. Love you too" I muttered and we arrived at the middle of the parking lot, all the tour buses surrounding us, someone had pulled some benches into the middle, I counted, enough to fit the four bands and their crew.

I sat on the one closet to our bus, and the one furthest from everyone else's. 'My guys' as I called them, went up to the other two bands and started chatting, leaving me alone.

I scanned across everyone's heads; All Time Low weren't out yet. I spotted their buses just across from mine; least I know where to avoid looking in the mornings.

"Hey guys!" Flyzik shouted over the noise, I looked up and saw him walking in front of the benches; a group of shadows littered the floor next to me as I stared forward looking everywhere but _there._ "Welcome on tour!"

"Hey Flyzik, I missed youuu!" I heard Brian Dales call out, a slight slur in his words no doubt from the drinking last night, Jess was right. I shook my head slightly, laughing.

Flyzik stared at him for a fraction of a second and then continued on with the tour rota. I spaced out after a few moments; it was mostly the same stuff, when we're on, no drinking inside the venue, no going outside beforehand if there are too many people already waiting, bla bla bla.

It took me a few moments to realise that my band hadn't sat with me; I was completely on my own. I risked a look and saw them sitting with The Summer Set, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Yeah, great way to go Lupe, to totally not look like an asshole who is avoiding Alex. Even though I was, it wasn't cool to point it out.

"Oh, and guys, I don't want any fights. No staying in other peoples buses if you can help it, I'd rather not like a repeat of what happened last tour" Flyzik looked at someone pointedly, and from the laughter and shouts from that group he was probably looking at Alex, and even though I tried not to think about it, I knew he was referring to Alex and Tay Jardine.

I bit my lip and looked down at the floor, hating the way it felt like my heart was dropping into my stomach. I didn't choose Alex. I let him go, rather rudely, and I can't go around acting as if his sex life bothered me, even though it made me sick to the heart. It totally skipped my stomach and went to the organ that never really gave me much help in the department of life.

"And, that's all I have to say. Have a great tour guys! I feel like it's gonna be one to remember" Flyzik grinned, and everyone cheered.

Yeah, and don't I know it.

I got up and started to walk towards my bus, even though I knew no one else had moved. It wasn't even the first day and I felt like I was pretty much the black sheep of this tour.

I sighed, and swung the door open, glancing backwards despite myself, and I saw him staring at me. It wasn't quite a 'I want you dead' glare, or a 'let's be best friends and plait each other's hair' look, but more of a 'what are you?'. And with that analyze, I slammed the door shut.

* * *

><p><strong>AN;**

**One more review on this and I have 60. Oh god.  
><strong>

**I'm actually really into writing again, so hopefully I won't disapper again:)  
><strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Lupe POV;**

It was a relaxing slide back into tour, let's be honest here. I spent the rest of the day doing nothing but unpacking, and when sound check came we were the first called, so we finished just as everyone arrived, Jess sneaked in a hug as I left, and I got the feeling that I was always going to be the one that leaves the room first throughout this. Mason and Sam (Guitarist) had become Mayday Parades new best buddies whilst James (Bassist) had become All Time Low's new drinking friend.

Fun.

"Hey, Lupe!" The guys shouted out as they came back, I poked my head out of my bunk and smiled at them,

"Hey, how was mingling?" I asked, trying to look like I cared about the information, and didn't have a needy urge to find out about my previous friends lives,

"It was cool" James grinned, he was at heart, five. "Jack was showing me how he keeps in the game"

'The Game' was a tour-term for the drinking games, this year I'm pretty sure it was a game were you took a drink every turn, and had to say something stupid. If you laughed, you failed.

"Ooooooh" I nodded,

"Hey, why do you always leave?" Mason asked, as they crashed onto our sofa, spreading themselves out,

"Huh?" I murmured, climbing out my bunk and grabbing my drink.

"Whenever we get together with everyone else, you just disappear when you're not needed, it's like you don't wanna be there"

I shrugged, "first day, tired"

He looked at me like he didn't believe a word I said, but didn't probe any further, which I was glad.

"You can sleep all you want when we get offstage tonight" Sam smiled at me, he was a quiet one, but treated me like his errant little sister,

I grinned, "Oh, trust me I know." I winked, "Counting the seconds"

"Aren't you going to the party Alex is throwing on All Time Low's bus?" James snorted, "I know you're a mature older woman, but c'mon, it's gonna kill"

I ran a hand through my hair, "I haven't spoken to them yet"

"Oh, it's good! They're swinging by later, just before we go on, good luck or something"

I froze. Of course. All Time Low had a habit of visiting everyone just before the first show to see how everyone was holding up. Just what I needed. "Oh, yeah I remember" I said vaguely, walking into the back room to change.

"You think something's up with her?" Sam asked the other guys when I'd closed the door, the ever caring member of this outfit, "I mean, haven't you guys noticed how she freezes when you mention All Time Low?"

"Yeah, she did it earlier with Jess too" Mason injected,

"And she wouldn't look at their tour bus when we left earlier" James added, "It was weird, because she looked everywhere, but _there_"

Thanks James. Thanks a lot.

"Maybe we should ask them? They might know what's up, or how to fix it" Sam continued, "I'd hate to see her this way all tour. She loved touring when we first got together. Not that much can change in less than three months"

There must've been some kind of nodding in agreement because I heard nothing more on it, and then they switched to talking about sports. Typical.

* * *

><p><strong>AN;**

**Yeah I'm updating today too. I really really wanna get back into a pattern. This story needs to get through a few boring chapters, like now, to get to the good stuff. I'm sorry:)  
><strong>

**Hey Kelsey, I heart you, and no, I'm not leaving again. I promise!  
><strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**Lupe's POV;**

I was dressed and present at the venue within an hour. I'd managed to avoid running into anyone so far, but the night was still young.

I sighed and grabbed someone's drumsticks that they'd left in Fall For Deceit's dressing room, softly tapping them on one of the brown sofas that littered the room. It was actually a pretty decent size, considering we were the bottom bill band.

"Hey, I was looking for those, thanks!" A voice sounded in the open doorway, and I froze. _Rian. _

I heard him cross the doorway, and from the stopping of his foot-falls, I guessed he was right behind me.

"Um, yeah. Sorry" I dropped them straight into his open hands, without looking up or coming out from behind my hair, which had fallen across my face.

"It's cool man, oh and are you coming to the after party at ours tonight?" I didn't understand why Rian continued in such a friendly tone, don't you hate me?

"I... I um, didn't know I was invited" I stuttered, rubbing my palms over my knees as the tension built,

"Why wouldn't you?" He laughed softly, no doubt showing that famous 50 watt smile, "You're our little Lupeykins"

It was so hard, so very hard not to look up at him, to see whether he was lying to me, or not. It was killing me inside as I simply shrugged.

"Hey" He whispered, sitting down next to me "What's up? Jack was really worried when you didn't come over and speak to us, and then at sound check Zack said you almost ran from there, what's wrong?"

I stayed silent, trying to control my breathing, to control my thoughts.

"Please, just tell me. I thought we were friends"

"Don't you hate me?" I whispered, surprised at how much it sounded like I was in pain in those four words,

"Wait, what?!" Rian almost shouted, "I could never hate you! None of us could! You're like our little sister"

I gave into the temptation, and looked him straight in the eye; "Alex" was all I could manage before I flushed and looked straight back down, allowing my hair to reclaim its place on my face.

The silence coming from Rian told me as much, maybe in a moment of confusion he forgot about the burning hate he should have for me, for what I did to Alex.

_*flashback*_

"Alex, look, I can't okay. I can't be with you!" I cried, as he pushed me up against the wall with his words.

"What do you mean?" He shouted, bawling his hands into fists, "You always come running to me, to me, when everything fucks up with Him, and yet you can't be with me?!" He couldn't even bring himself to say Andy's name.

I looked straight at him, feeling a tear escape from the corner of my eye. Yes, me and Andy were never 100%, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't escape Alex. But, I knew what I had to say to make him go.

"I don't love you"

He froze

"I never loved you. You were a distraction. I was bored, and you, you were there" I breathed out, trying to keep my face straight.

"I hate you" He said as he turned and left, slamming the door. The only sound bounding off the walls in the silence as I cried.

_*end flashback*_

"I never really believed it" Rian paused, "What he said, you, you're just not like that. You wouldn't"

"I did"

Without warning Rian cupped my face and pulled it up so I had no choice but to look him in the eye "I know it's not you" He said, sounding out all the words, "You didn't mean it"

I tried to shake my head, to deny what he said, but he just looked at me, "You love him, the mess you're in proves it"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out, all the emotions came tumbling down on top of me and I couldn't breathe, and then everything came running out of my eyes, all the pain and the loss, being abandoned by Andy when I finally chose him, Alex, and it came out in the form of my tears.

"Sh, it's okay" I heard Rian whisper as he pulled me into a hug, his words barely register over the loud noise in my head as an inner war was being fought out with no winning side. "Just tell him. Tell them both, it'll be okay. If they truly love you, they'll understand"

"But what if I lose them both?" I asked in between my sobs,

He smiled and shook his head sadly, "then they weren't yours in the first place"

* * *

><p><strong>AN; **

**So, I really dislike fanfictions that don't include all the band members equally, and I know very well that I don't include Rian or Zack a huge amount, so I'm fixing that a bit more.  
><strong>

**Oh, and the climax to this story is slow building, but it will be done by chapter 30. Thats what I'm aiming for. It's almost over! :D**


	26. Chapter 26

**Lupe's POV;**

I looked through the curtain for a few seconds. It was almost time for me to go onstage.

It wasn't actually the performing part that scared me, it was the conversation I had with Rian, and the fact that Alex would be watching me from backstage, just like he always did.

"Hi" I said, answering my phone as it started to ring, "Who's this?"

"Duh, it's me baby!" Andy grinned through the phone, somewhere half way across the world.

I smiled, a little. Despite everything, he wouldn't forget my first show. "Aw, it's good to hear your voice"

"Yeah, I called to wish you good luck!"

"Thanks" I started, this was my first chance to act on Rian's advise "Look, I need to talk to you and it just won't wait"

"Yeah, okay baby I'm all ears" But as he said those words, I heard someone giggle in the background, and I froze, what?

"Um, well you know that All Time Low came to stay a few months back?" I started, unsure of what to say with the background noise of what sounded like an all-girl party, grew.

"Yeah, look honey, I've got to go" Andy sighed, "There's something's I gotta attend to"

And before I could reply, he hung up on me. I couldn't believe my ears. Things were so different between us, and I couldn't explain it, but I guess I pushed him away, and he ran the same direction. He toured non-stop, and I retreated back inside myself after everything went wrong. I couldn't believe the kind of person I had become. But, the love between us faded, and all that was left was this nagging feeling like the longer I left everything, the more I lost the person I had become.

I missed the girl who dreamt about her favourite band, and then found out it wasn't just her dream.

"Sounds like he's having fun" A sarcastic voice said behind me and I knew that voice all too well. It reminded me of days when I wasn't quite as tarnished. "You know, maybe you should tell him what you told me, and then he'll stop fucking whatever he can find abroad"

I turned slowly to see Alex leaning against the venue wall, his head tilted to the side as he watched me, "I don't remember asking you anything" I whispered, too afraid to actually speak up.

"What's that?" He said, his voice still dripping in sarcasm as he held his hand to his ear, "I can't hear you. Speak up"

I swallowed as the air around us became slow and clogged up, "I said I didn't ask you anything"

"And so she speaks" He smiled smugly.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, hoping that I was dreaming, but when I opened them, he was still staring at me with an amused expression. I bit my lip and cast my eyes down. I knew I would have to come face-to-face with him sooner or later, but I had always hoped on the latter option. And I knew it was me, being stupid. I should be able to at least look at him, after all that has happened. But, it hurt. I felt like he had punched me in the gut. And I could barely breathe.

"Rian told me you were in tears" He stated simply when it became obvious that I wasn't going to add anything, "And that you thought that everyone hated you"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes firmly on my shoes.

"You know, I wish you would just look at me" He whispered, sounding closer to me than before. I felt his hands cup my chin and then lift my face up to meet him eyes. "After all, I'm not going to hurt you"

I didn't feel brave enough to tell him that his fingers were burning me, at this point I took it as a good sign that he hadn't removed his hand just quite yet, even though it hurt, I welcomed the pain his touch gave me.

We looked into each other's eyes for what felt like ages. His hand didn't move, but his finger tip started to trace patterns in the soft skin along my jaw bone and cheek. It felt like he was trying to remind me and himself of easier times, when he used to do this, and I would kiss him, smiling.

"Shows about to start" He murmured, gruffly, his lips moving inches away from mine. I nodded and pulled my head back, out of his grip. "I'll… I'll, see you tonight?"

The way he asked was almost as he begged me, and I couldn't tell him no. No again, so I nodded.

He walked briskly away from me, and I let out the breath I'd been holding for as long as he had been holding my face. This isn't a good idea. None of this is.

* * *

><p><strong>AN;**

**This really isn't as good as I wanted it to be, but I want to finish this fic this year. D:  
><strong>

**Anyway, enjoy! If you have any questions please review:3  
><strong>


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27;

Lupe's POV;

The show was insane. Oh, how I've missed it.

The kids are always so full of energy, and just plain passion. Whenever I stand in front of them, I can't help but scan the crowd and wonder which one of them will be up here in a few years' time, wondering the same thing as me.

"Did you have fun?" I called to Jess as she came offstage, throwing her a towel.

She grinned at me, "It's fucking insane out there!"

I nodded and took my place by the stage to watch Mayday Parade. I've always had a soft spot for them, and Derek was the sweetest guy ever. He was the kind of guy you wish you could just marry and have a few kids with, but nothing dirty, just like snuggling next to him by the fire. Cute stuff.

I wasn't sure if was the best idea to watch them play, not with my emotions running wild and such. But I felt like I had to show some kind of showmanship, every band and crew had watched our first show of the tour, and The Summer Set's, I felt like I should be able to sit through the final two sets for as long as I possibly could.

"Hey guys!" Derek smiled onstage after they finished their opening song, Oh Well Oh Well. "We have a special request to kick this tour off! It's from some guy backstage who would rather go unnamed, but here is I'd Rather Be Hopeless Than Romantic!"

I smiled, that was one of my favourite Mayday Parade songs, if I had to choose between them all, Mason had probably told them about it after I'd annoyed them the entire ride up here playing it and saying how cool it would be for them to play it this tour.

"Wow. Ironic huh?" Mason said, walking up behind me, "You must be crying your feels on the inside"

I nudged him playfully, "Yeah because it totally wasn't you who asked them"

He just looked at me for a second, and then shrugged, "Maybe it was Sam or Jason"

I shrugged too; maybe Mason was just messing around with me, trying to make me read into something that wasn't there. That was a huge issue of mine, I read into stuff so deeply that I usually ended up disappointed by the actual ending.

"Actually, it might've been Jack or Alex. I told them about how you were playing it all the way up here" He added after a moment,

I froze for half a second and then tried my best to act completely natural, "Oh, why?"

"They asked about you. Y'know, how you are, what you are up to nowdays, the usual I guess"

"And what did you say?!" I practically demanded, I bit my lip. So much for looking cool and causal. Way to go.

"Um, I'm not sure?" He started, narrowing his eyes slightly at me, "Just that like, you're acting really weird and annoying us by staying in the bus"

So, he basically made me sound like some anti-social hermit. Great, thanks Mason. This is why you are single; you don't understand _anything_ about girls.

I nodded and turned back to the stage as Mayday was just finishing off the song. Derek flashed me a quick grin which made me smile back mutually in friendship. He obviously was told by whomever about my fangirl state over that song. I'm totally going to attack him and ask him who asked him for that song though, I won't let it rest.

'_Try and make up your mind, I'll make it up for you'_

Then again, maybe it wasn't too hard to figure out on my own.


End file.
